How Long Should It Take To Commit?
By Nina Atwood
Is six months long enough? A year? Nine months? What about six weeks? How long should it take to commit? The answer is, of course, it depends. There is no right, exact answer. It depends not just on the calendar but on the heart and emotional timetable. Here are the things to consider in your quest to move a dating relationship to commitment:
- How long has it been since your last relationship, and how did it end? If one of you is still reeling from a bad divorce or break up of a long-term relationship, commitment will take longer, unless you rebound.
- To what degree do you still think about, obsess about, talk about, yearn for, hate or resent your Ex? Unresolved emotional baggage will severely limit your new relationship and your ability to commit powerfully.
- In what stage of life are you? Twenty and thirty-somethings tend to feel that biological clock ticking, saying “marriage and babies”! Forty and fifty-somethings tend to be able to take more time with commitment for the opposite reason.
- How fearful are you of commitment itself? If you think happy thoughts when you envision yourself married to the person you’re dating, you’ll move more rapidly toward commitment. If you feel a dark cloud descending on your life when you envision marriage, you’ll resist commitment. This is obviously something that needs to be worked out before your relationship will progress.
- Can you easily envision spending the rest of your life with this person? If the answer is no, you probably need to re-think this relationship. If the answer is yes, you probably need to relax and let the relationship unfold. If one of you is a yes and the other a no, you have a bigger problem. You’re out of balance and either need to get the relationship back in balance or move on.
How long does it take to commit? As long as it takes for two hearts and minds to align on a common vision of love, joy, and life experience shared.
Entry Filed under: Relationships
