If you’re dating someone special and talking about living together, think twice. It may not be as good for you as you think. The other day I came home stressed out and my husband offered to give me a head and shoulder rub. What bliss! Not only did it feel good to my tense muscles, but as he rubbed, I felt my entire system calm down. I know without having to think about it that my husband loves me and is there for me. So that neck and shoulder rub wasn’t just physically therapeutic, it was emotionally therapeutic. And there […]
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According to the latest census research, the over age 50 crowd is now experiencing double the divorce rate of younger groups. The even more riveting subgroup is those over 50 who are remarried. The odds of divorce are 40% higher for people in remarriages, so the people most likely to divorce late in life are the ones who divorced and remarried earlier. I heard one recent news report that 40% of online daters today are over age 50. If you’re in that group, you are at significant risk for a rebound divorce marrying the wrong person, usually far too quickly, […]
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I’m all for gender equality and partnership in marriage. My husband and I have that, yet we are also deliciously different. Those male/female differences are the reasons why – in the early stages of dating – it pays huge dividends to let a guy take the lead. Long ago as a budding therapist counseling singles, I thought that gender differences didn’t matter in dating relationships. I didn’t coach singles to understand or honor those differences, nor did I understand or honor them in my own dating life. Every time I took the lead – making the first moves, asking guys […]
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Are you dating someone new – say, less than six months? Are you wondering what kind of gift to give, and what to expect? What you do next could make or break your budding relationship. Here’s how to decide what is the right – and wrong – gift to give in a new dating relationship. First, stop and reflect: how involved are we at this point? Have you said “I love you”? Are you sleeping together, exclusive? Are you talking about future, meeting each other’s relatives? If you’re at this level of involvement, then your gifts should reflect it. For him: A […]
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Does online dating result in a better marriage? For the first time, a new study reveals that online dating is no longer just for losers and misfits. It is a viable way to find a soul mate. In this podcast of Love Strategies, Nina looks at all the latest findings about online dating, the good, the not so good, and the great. Find out the top 3 reasons why online dating can increase your odds of a better marriage. Also in this show: what do you do when a guy (who seems normal and nice) doesn’t plan ahead? How do you handle […]
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What happens when you meet someone who isn’t quite divorced YET? And that’s usually what they say: “I’m not divorced yet” instead of “I’m married.” Should you date that person or take a pass? If you choose to get involved, can it work? Should it work? There are layers to this issue, and we’ll unpeel them in this show. Also on this show: should you date someone who is not quite on your level? When you feel like you’re about to settle, it’s time to take step back and figure out what is driving your decision. The real issues behind […]
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Fourteen years ago when I met my husband, we were both failures. Relationship failures, that is. He was divorced twice and so was I. We were in our early forties, fearful of making another mistake, yet still hopeful that maybe this relationship would be the right one. We both had a healthy dose of skepticism, but we forged ahead. Good thing we did because meeting him has definitely turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me! If you are single and over forty, odds are you have at least one big relationship failure in your […]
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Women ask me all the time: how can I meet someone who is ready for commitment? How do I find a guy who is actually interested in marriage, not just fun and games? My answer is simple but not easy: figure out what you need to do to attract a commitment minded guy. Some of that is the inner work you need to do so that you are not attracting emotionally unavailable guys. Good relationships are always an inside job. The rest of it is understanding what to do on your dates so that you set the stage for real […]
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Dear Nina: I truly feel I’m addicted to my wife. We have been separated for 3 years and we have 3 children together that I have full custody of (yes I’m a male). She lives with another man, and still sees me and a third guy who is the reason we split up in the first place. I keep telling myself that I’m through, I’m done, yet find myself right back in the same situation a few days later. It’s a vicious cycle. I’m literally on the verge of complete insanity. I love her and I want our family back together. She claims she wants the same […]
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Did you know that too much materialism can kill your (future) marriage? A new study highlights the problems when one or both partners focus too much on having more things. We now know the personality traits that are associated with materialism, and with the downfall of marriages as a result. As a single person, you may want to know what to look for as you date and consider someone for marriage. There are clear signs in a new relationship that you may not be financially compatible. Since conflict over money (how to spend, save, and debt) is the number one reason […]
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Why do we choose the people that we do? Sure, there’s physical attraction, but it turns out there are other factors at play when we act the crazy way we do in the name of love. Politics and religion have more to do with it than you may realize, even if you don’t talk about it! Find out all the fascinating science behind love and mate selection. Also in this Love Strategies show, find out what you need to know to make it more likely that love the second time around can actually work. Divorce and remarriage isn’t so easy, […]
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Remember the bizarre meltdown of Congressman Weiner? The story is old but it ties into the debate about monogamy: What is happening to monogamy? If you pay attention to the media, you might begin to conclude that is is an antiquated notion that no longer applies to today’s modern relationships. In this podcast, Nina tackles the issue of monogamy: why it is so important and what it has to do with today’s relationships. Also: is sexting cheating? Are emails of a sexual nature to someone outside of your relationship a sign that you’re cheating? Nina covers all these issues and […]
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What are your dreams for your life? Do you believe you can make them happen, or have you given up? More importantly, what is in the way of you achieving your dreams? In this enlightening podcast, Nina talks about the power of dreams: defining them, overcoming obstacles, and believing in them. If you are willing to take a few risks, you may want to challenge yourself to a.) define your dreams, and b.) understand how you may be sabotaging yourself on the road to achieving them. Also, find out how dreams can be the fuel for your life, and what […]
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What is “free love” and how does it affect today’s relationships? If you are over the age of 45, you already have some concept, but whether you do or not, the 1960’s notion of “free love” has a huge impact on relationships today. Your life has already been impacted by this historical phenomenon, and you may want to know how, especially for women. It’s not what you think, and in this enlightening podcast Nina shreds old notions about this familiar concept. Find out what real love really is, how two people can create it together, and why it is so much […]
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Dear Nina: My wife and I have been married for 12 years and have two children – a 9-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl. We have a difficult, unhappy marriage. There’s no outward fighting or drama, and our young children may not know there’s a problem. But my wife and I rarely have meaningful talks or display affection. We’ve become essentially roommates. We would like to divorce but are worried about the impact on our young kids. Our marriage isn’t completely intolerable. So should we stay together for the kids’ benefit? Or should we consider our own (selfish?) desires and divorce? […]
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New studies highlight a so-called new trend: Stayover Relationships. The question raised by these studies is this: “Do stayover relationships interfere with the path to marriage?” But is this really a new trend, and does it really impact the decision to marry? Couples have been “staying over” for decades – meaning that they maintain separate homes but spend three or more nights per week at one place or the other. Find out from Nina why staying over might not be a bad idea, and also what to watch out for if your relationship follows this trend. Also in this podcast, […]
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“Love at first sight” is a well-known expression, but how real is it? I’ve heard many couples over the years refer to how quickly they fell in love. Some say it was instantaneous, others say it took weeks or months. You have probably heard more than one friend say “it was love at first sight”! The latest research tells us that it is possible to fall in love in as little as a fraction of a second. But the reality is that it doesn’t always lead to lasting love. One study, conducted by Syracuse University Professor Stephanie Ortigue, revealed that up to twelve areas […]
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“Love at first sight” is a familiar notion, but is it real? More importantly, can it last? Now, new research answers the question of whether or not those couples who instantly fall madly in love make it over the long haul. What causes instantaneous love? Is it real love? Why is it so difficult for crazy in love couples to take their time before marrying? In this podcast, Nina answers all those questions and more. Also in this podcast: how to effectively deal with the lying about age, height, and weight that you may encounter in the online dating world. Also, living together and money: […]
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Is your girlfriend pressuring you to get married? Maybe it’s time to listen because she’s right – getting married is good for you! Everyday Health reports the latest research on men’s health and the findings are in – men are healthier along every major dimension when they marry. From sex to cancer to heart problems, married men fare better. Married service men have lower rates of PTSD. Married men live longer, behave better, and drink less. For the full run-down, read the article in Everyday Health: “7 Ways Marriage Helps Men’s Health.” Of course, the obvious caveat is that when […]
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According to the U.S. Census Bureau, married couples now represent 48 percent of all U.S. households. That’s down from 52 percent in the last Census. The reason is twofold: The fast-growing older population is more likely to be divorced or widowed later in life, and 20-somethings are putting off their nuptials for longer stretches. Experts say fears of not keeping a job, a widening labor market for women and a shift away from having kids at a young age are some of the reasons people in their 20s and early 30s are not joining the ranks of married people, at least […]
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Hi Nina: I am attracted to emotionally unavailable men. However I am also emotionally unavailable; I always look for an escape clause. I watched my parents, who loved each other, have a miserable marriage for over 30 yrs (they divorced when I was 26). I swore that if I cared for someone & he or I wasn’t happy I would be strong enough to leave. I was in a relationship with a man for 6 yrs & as usual I left. I believe this was the right thing to do, for both of us. Now when I meet someone I am […]
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Let’s see. If you take suggestive emails, sexually explicit texts, and pornographic tweets and add them up, then substract the physical contact (because we never actually met or had sex), that equals NO CHEATING. Yeah, right. That’s fuzzy relationship math, and it doesn’t add up. If you believe in monogamy, then Congressman Weiner’s “cyber cheating” really is cheating. Get the whole scoop from me in this Fox 4 interview.
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You’re dating someone new and he’s wonderful! You think he may be “the one” but before you start buying bridal magazines, listen up! Nina informs you of the top four unconscious ways you may sabotage your new relationship. Also in this show: dating violence and how to protect yourself or your daughter. Discover: How you REALLY choose your relationships and how to get control of the process so you only date high quality good guys How to keep yourself emotionally balanced while you are falling in love How to maintain his interest over time while you build a bridge to […]
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Love Strategies August 15th: It was truly a mix of topics, starting with women leaving their marriages in droves, touching on honesty in online dating, and ending with an inspirational quote from Kahlil Gibran on love. Listen to the whole show here. This story appeared in the Dallas Morning News over the weekend: Why are women leaving their marriages? Journalist Christine Wicker cited anecdotal evidence that middle-aged women are not content staying married to the husbands with whom they’ve spent the past several decades. Confronted with mid life, they are questioning the decisions of the past, and many are carving out an escape path. […]
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Dear Nina: I’m in a three year relationship. The hours that we work differ greatly and as a result, we do not get to spend the time together that I would like. My daughter seems to want to love her, but when I ask her to go and spend time as a family, there are an abundance of excuses. Even watching TV she will sit away from us and then claims that I push her away when my daughter is there. I just don’t understand what else I can do other than continue to ask her to join us. I […]
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