Reading the Tea Leaves: Part 2
By Nina Atwood
Nothing grabs your attention more than having someone you love abruptly exit. It’s emotionally traumatic, meaning that there’s no way to prepare yourself for such a sudden loss, so it hits you on all levels. You’re sad and/or angry, you can’t sleep, you can’t concentrate at work, and you wear out your support network with long, obsessive conversations about why this happened and what you might do. Deep down, what hits hardest is the realization that you’ve lost all sense of control over the situation. Your Ex has grabbed all the power in the relationship.
This situation, like all challenging situations in life, holds within it a golden opportunity: that of discovering where real power resides. Within you lies your real power: your ability to choose how you will interpret what happens in your life, and to respond to what happens in your life and your relationships. Here is your point of choice [given a “grace period” of grief which is perfectly normal]:
- I can continue to obsess over this person and suffer because I can’t control his or her behavior; or
- I can refocus on the things I can control: my own thoughts, interpretations, choices, and behavior.
What is your choice? Which choice gives you greater peace of mind and heart in the long run? Which choice reclaims your sense of personal power?
Entry Filed under: Breaking Up,Dating,Personal Growth,Relationships
