Online Dating: Be Yourself and Be Grammatical

 By Nina Atwood

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As you create your profile, showcase a little of your personality. Some originality that points to who you are is attractive. For example, you might say “I’m an empty nester in my early 50s with a love of travel and adventure, seeking a soul mate who wants to explore the world with nothing more dangerous than a camera and tripod.” Or you might say “I’m thirty-something, ready for commitment, and seeking the right balance between always young at heart while having children with a soul mate.”

Too much originality or quirky wit can be off-putting and will limit your choices: “I am a little weary of people who can fold quarters, break out of straight jackets, and don’t like vegetables. If your profile has pictures that are sideways you need to be flogged.” I actually pulled this one from a real dating site, believe it or not!

Now, about the grammar. I know that in the age of text-messaging many people no longer bother to proof-read and correct typos. Never mind using capital letters and punctuation. But here’s the solid reality: people judge you for what you write and how you write it. It’s instantaneous – the brain judges and categorizes everything that it sees. So when you write like a second grader, you immediately turn off the smart people. Here’s another real example I pulled from a dating web site:

“hi ladies , i am a geniune caring guy ,romantic ,honest ,trustworthy, generous ,gsoh,i love the countryside ,wildlife ,holidays,mini breaks,boating,eating out /in ,olde worlde places ,my tatse in music…”

I’m a smart woman and I like intelligent men. If I were single again (thank God I’m not!), this guy wouldn’t even get the time of day from me. Believe me, I’m not the only woman who feels that way, and there are plenty of men who feel the same way reading women’s online profiles. So everyone, listen up! Unless you want to attract people who didn’t finish high school, don’t care that they didn’t, and are looking for a meal ticket, write your profile in a Word document, spell and grammar check it, use punctuation and capital letters where appropriate, and then copy and paste it into your online profile. This will pay big dividends as it will distinguish you from the masses.

After you finish drafting your profile write-up, show it to a few friends or co-workers of the opposite sex, asking them to critique it for acceptable content, just enough personality to be attractive to the kind of people you want to draw in, and nothing that is off-putting or limiting to your potential pool of singles. Now take the feedback you’ve gotten and make changes. You’re ready to go!

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Entry Filed under: Dating