Online Dating Doesn’t Work (NOT!)
By Nina Atwood
Did you know that you have one of the most powerful tools ever created at your fingertips – one that could literally have you happily in love in sixty to ninety days? It’s a little thing called THE INTERNET, and INTERNET DATING is now a 650 million dollar business. As I’m writing this, thousands of couples are deciding to marrying, and they MET ON THE INTERNET! If you don’t know someone who is happily married who met their soul mate on the internet, you will. I personally know half a dozen happily married couples in my friendship circles who met through an internet based dating site.
So why aren’t you jumping all over this bandwagon? Why aren’t you online every single day reaping the harvest of dates at your fingertips? Chances are it’s because you’ve heard bad stories from people who met someone on a dating site, only to discover later that he wasn’t all he seemed to be. He/she was married, a drug addict, a sex addict, a commitmentphobe, a liar, or a scheemer. Or maybe you’ve tried online dating and failed to find a quality person.
Here’s the reality: no matter where you meet someone, you take a risk. Sometimes the risk pays off and other times it doesn’t. If you’ve been burned, or you know someone who’s been burned, you may pull back, making the mistake of overgeneralization. What’s that? It means that if you dated someone with red hair who hurt you, you irrationally decide never to date a red haired person again, because don’t you know that red haired people are . . . whatever.
Online dating is an ever-changing pool of singles. Right now, someone is coming out of their cocoon of grief over a divorce that was finalized six months ago, and he/she is going to join a site tonight. If you’ve tried online dating and concluded that there are no good people out there, you’ve cut yourself out of the game.
I’ve heard singles for years tell me their reasons for not utilizing the internet to meet someone for dating: a.) there are too many duds, and I always get the duds, b.) no one that I care to meet ever responds to my profile, c.) the ones I do meet turn out to be something less than I thought, d.) it takes too much time to go through all the winks, emails, phone calls, and coffee dates to get to a viable person.
That’s just the beginning of the excuses, but here’s what you need to know. Dating, like any other worthwhile endeavor in your life, takes an investment of time and energy. If you lost your job, would you tell your friends and family that it was just too much trouble to put your resume together and look for another job? Of course not! This is different, of course, because your need for food, shelter, and clothing pushes you to find work, whereas dating can always be postponed.
What are you waiting for? Maybe it’s time to dedicate some time and energy to one of the most vital parts of life – relationship. Yes, you will be taking risks, emotional and otherwise. Yes, you will make mistakes along the way, and you’ll learn from them. And now the best part – you can minimize your risks by following a few basic principles for online dating. Stay tuned for future blogs on how to make the most of your online dating experience.
Entry Filed under: Dating
1 Comment
1. Jane | August 13th, 2009 at 2:45 pm
I would highly caution ANYONE who is considering online dating to BUYER BEWARE. I and many of my friends have encountered
men who say they work in Africa and live several different
places with phony I love you, I want to be your husband and
father your children scammer types. I think online dating is
getting much more risky and would suggest it as your last choice
avenue for meeting people. I am an attractive graduate school
educated professional woman so I intend to try and meet people
in more face to face natural situations. Best of luck to you all!
As my grandmother use to say there is a lid for every pot!!