When Do Guys Want to Get Married?
By Nina Atwood
Cindy asks: When do guys want to get married? I’ve always asked guys how they feel about marriage. They all say they want to get married … until we start to get serious and then they break up. My last boyfriend told me that he DID want to get married, but first he wanted to date lots of women. Are all guys this nuts?
The quick answer is: A guy wants to get married when he realizes he’s with someone he trusts, loves, admires, respects, and with whom he wants to share his life. Your question, Cindy, is really this one: Why didn’t my boyfriend want to marry me? Generalizing this question so that all guys get tagged with “he’s nuts” and “he says one thing and does another” won’t get you where you want to go. Let’s look at this from another perspective: What can you do to change this pattern in your life? You are the common denominator in all your relationships, and if you are attracting guys who want to date you but not marry you, then you are the one who needs to shift in some way.
First, take a look at your past relationships and ask yourself this question, being totally honest with yourself: Are you sure that this guy is someone you would have been happy with sharing the rest of your life? Go down the list and look at each one with this question. Odds are, you’ll say “no.” Why? Perhaps your focus has been too much on the getting married part and not enough on discovering compatibility.
Take a break from dating and work on your personal vision for your life and future marriage. Create a powerful vision statement based on values and fundamental relationship principles that work. Using Be Your Own Dating Service, put together a dating game plan and go back to dating with a new intention. This time, instead of trying to get him to marry you, focus on interviewing and pacing new relationships to discover whether or not he’s the right guy for you. That subtle shift in energy puts you back in control of your life, aiming for the right target: true compatibility and the ingredients for lifelong happiness.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Women,Marriage
