R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Do You Get it in Your Relationship?
By Nina Atwood
For years I’ve written about the importance of communication in dating - being able to open up and express what you really think and feel; listening to understand - so that you can really get to know the person you are thinking of spending your life with. New research shows that being able to open up about how you feel is vital to women’s health.
What this research tells us about dating is that you need to date someone long enough to get past the enchantment stage, get into some arguments, and discover your style of communication during the discussion of stressful topics. Women need to pay attention to these factors:
- Does he listen to me respectfully?
- Does he acknowledge my point of view, even if he doesn’t agree?
- Does he respond to me with warmth?
- Does he give me time to air my thoughts and feelings?
Of course, this same checklist applies to how women listen to men. You must give what you expect to receive. In dating, you give and then you pay attention to what comes back. Unlike a quid pro quo, this is not a scorecard you keep every day. But over time, notice the patterns. In dating, you generally get the best foot forward in the first few weeks. If during that time you don’t see that he’s a good listener, don’t expect him to miraculously transform into one later.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Women,Communication,Dating,Relationships
1 Comment
1. Two Becomes One | July 26th, 2010 at 6:54 pm
This is so true! If he doesn’t listen to you now, he certainly won’t listen to you years from now. Make sure your partner talks with you, not at you, about problems that arise. And respect: that is probably the most important thing in a relationship.