Looking for a Beautiful Mind, not a Beautiful Bar Scene
By Nina Atwood
A growing trend in singles land is the attraction of a beautiful mind. Singles in major metropolitan cities are reporting that they are tired of the bar scene and wish to meet someone who shares their intellectual pursuits. Instead of standing in line at trendy bars, they are lining up for lectures and museum tours.
The bar scene has always been the Plan B of singles, but maybe it’s time to declare “enough!” Meeting people in bars is fraught with difficulties, among them the necessity to screen for alcoholism. It almost seems like an I.Q. test, but many singles who are not alcoholic fail to recognize the signs of it in others, even when they meet the other person in a bar.
Once you declare bars off-limits in your pursuit of a mate, the next question is “now what?” That takes a bit of thought and work. Like all good things in life, finding a soul mate takes intention and effort.
If you want to meet someone who is like-minded, who shares your intellectual pursuits, scan your local entertainment guide every week. Look for events that reflect your interests. Then, get up, get out, and meet! Take a single friend for support, but don’t glue yourselves together for the evening. Set and share your intentions at the outset (i.e., my goal is to meet three new people tonight), then separate, work on your goals, and go out for dinner afterwards to de-brief on your process and results.
Sounds almost like a job, doesn’t it? The reality is that if you wish to move past “single and searching” and into “loving and being loved,” you almost have to treat it as a part-time job. Think of the time and effort to search for the right person as about equal to the time and effort you’ll invest later to keep your relationship on track. If you don’t have time now to search, you won’t have time to keep it going later.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Men,Advice for Women,Dating
