Is the Attraction Only Skin Deep?
By Nina Atwood
As discussed in previous blogs, there is really no reason why two people can’t fall in love even with a significant gap in age. But seeking someone specifically because of the gap in age is not far from seeking someone because of money, looks, or social status. At the end of the day, there’s an objectification of other people at the bottom of these choices.
Objectification means, in essence, not being able to see people for who they are, or appreciate them for who they are, but instead seeing them as a means to satisfy a need. The beautiful person you go out with is seen as someone who increases your status by virtue of being seen with him/her. The wealthy person is viewed as a way out of your financial woes. The highly sexual person is seen as a way to assuage your sexual and companionship needs.
Good relationships don’t thrive on skin deep attributes. Looks fade, money can be lost, and sexual prowess can diminish. As life goes on, health issues can intrude, extended family may need extraordinary help, and career paths can fail.
In other words, life happens, and sometimes it’s difficult. A partner who loves you for who you are is one who will remain committed through difficult times. Learning how to love in a way that goes deeper than your partner’s wonderful attributes is the hallmark of mature love, and therefore, lasting love.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Men,Advice for Women,Dating,Personal Growth,Relationships
