Choosing to be Single vs. Choosing to be Content
By Nina Atwood
I run across stories like this all the time – “Living Single in a Doubles World” is a good example. Extrapolating from the latest statistics that tell us there are now more singles living in the U.S. than married couples, the message is that singles are choosing their status over marriage. But there’s more to the story.
My question is this: If you met someone today - someone whom you found to be very attractive, someone who shared your values and was on a similar life path, someone who left you feeling all tingly inside - and that person wanted to be with you, would you say “No, I’m sorry, but I’ve made a decision to stay single”? I doubt it. So are you really choosing to be single, or is that another way to say that perhaps you are more content and less desperate?
Experience has taught me that there is value in finding a way to be content as a single person. It makes you less needy if you have lots of interesting things to do and friends to spend time with. The stats do tell a story of singles putting off marriage until later in life – not a bad thing when you consider how many early marriages fail. There’s definitely something to be said for not chasing after relationships, for allowing that contentment to bloom without taking any particular action.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Men,Advice for Women,Dating,Personal Growth,Relationships
2 Comments
1. CarlysDatingChronicles | April 23rd, 2010 at 8:55 am
I don’t think anyone WANTS to be single. Who enjoys being single and sleeping alone? I think people are single because they haven’t found Mr. Right yet. I am single now because I am looking for Mr.Right. I have my own dating blog http://www.carlysdatingchronicles.com where I write all about the dates I go on. I think that secretly everyone wants to have someone to have sex with!
2. Katheryn B | May 6th, 2010 at 6:20 pm
I think the choice to be single also depends on your age and life experience. As a younger woman, I was not content with being single. I looked forward to a marriage and a family of my own. As an older woman, I do not have the same needs/desires and get great companionship and friendship from my women friends without having to make the daily compromises that a marriage requires. Selfish? Perhaps. Free? Definitely. At my age, I am enjoying my freedom and friendships and myself.