Narcissistic Dating Quiz
By Nina Atwood
Are you a Narcissistic Dater like Justin or Shelly? This personal inventory will help you gain insight and take corrective action if you are.
Take a few minutes and go through these questions, writing down your answers. Be as honest as you possibly can – the information you’ll gain is for your own development and growth. Think of yourself in dating situations as context for your answers.
- When I’m dating someone, I am aware of the other person’s emotional needs and can clearly articulate them: a. Most of the time, b. Some of the time, or c. Almost never.
- When I feel that the person I’m dating isn’t meeting my needs, my typical response is: a. Talk to him/her with the goal of understanding the issue from his/her perspective first, b. Talk to him/her and insist that he/she do a better job of meeting my needs, or c. Start looking around for someone else who I think will meet my needs.
- My goal in dating most strongly resembles the following: a. To meet someone whose values and mine match so we can spend our lives together making each other happy, b. To meet someone fabulous who makes me feel good about myself, or c. To find companionship and great sex with no strings attached.
- If the person I’m dating starts talking about commitment, I’m most likely to: a. Happily make a commitment OR, if I realize I don’t love the person, move on with respect, b. Waffle on commitment so he/she won’t break up with me and I can spend more time trying to decide if I really like him/her, or c. Start looking for someone else, then break up before he/she can break up with me.
- My significant dating partners from the past would be most likely to describe me as: a. Caring and compassionate, b. Caring but non-commital, or c. Charming but self-absorbed.
Key to the quiz:
For each answer a, give yourself 3 points; for each answer b, give yourself 2 points, and for each answer c, give yourself 1 point. Add up your score and read the results below.
13 to 15 = congratulations! You are a “giver” in relationships, caring and responsible, able and willing to make a commitment.
10 to 12 = you’re definitely empathetic and a giver, but you’re either afraid of giving too much or you’re not sure how. Your point of growth: trust yourself more – make sure you’re committed to your own well being so that you can afford to handle a little loss along the way. This will enable you to stretch more emotionally, give more in relationships without going overboard, and establish more bonded connections.
5 to 9 = you have your work cut out for you if you wish to have a loving, lasting relationships. Start by finding a non-profit organization that allows you to donate your time directly toward helping others. Literacy programs, care for the elderly, big brother/sister programs, and so on are good choices. You need to stretch your capacity for love by giving care in a safe, non-dating, way for a significant period of time. Let your heart open to others’ suffering and you will develop the compassion you need to bond in your relationships.
Entry Filed under: Dating,Personal Growth
