“I’ll Call You”: Dreaded Non-date Words
By Nina Atwood
Melinda and Gary chatted on the phone for the third time after connecting online and meeting once for coffee. He was cute and she was captivated. Melinda waited for Gary to ask her out, and finally it happened. “How about we get together Saturday night?” he asked. “Sounds great,” she answered. “Okay, I’ll call you later in the week,” he replied. She heard – we have a date Saturday night. He thought – maybe I’ll go out with Melinda Saturday night, if nothing better shows up on my radar.
Saturday rolled around, and Melinda still hadn’t heard from Gary. Frustrated, she waited all morning, then gave up and went out to lunch with friends, making sure her cell phone was set to ring as loudly as possible. The day passed with no call, no specific plans set, and therefore, she assumed, no date. At 6:30, he called, but she was out with her girlfriends drinking and complaining angrily about Gary’s poor dating behavior. It was so loud in the bar that she didn’t hear her cell phone ring. He left a message asking where she was in an irritated tone of voice. He assumed that they had a date (since nothing better had come along), and that she’d blown him off.
The three worst words to hear when planning a date are “I’ll call you,” with no specific plans set. Here’s the reality – you don’t have a date until you have agreed on a date (calendar day), a specific time (not ”sometime that evening”), an event (dinner, movie, show), and a suggestion of attire (casual, dressy). Until these things are established, all you have is a dangling potential for a date.
Read Nina’s book Date Lines: Communication from “Hello” to “I Do” and Everything In Between for the best ways to date so that you set up the foundation for a loving, lasting relationship.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Women,Dating
