How to Land a Lazy Lover
By Nina Atwood
He calls, but it’s the morning of the day he wants to see you. He shows up, but often late. He wants to be with you, but it’s mostly hanging out having sex, eating, and watching television. He introduces you to his friends – maybe. If he does, it’s only because you ran into them together. Or, he introduces you to his friends because you’re a hot babe he can show off (i.e., look at how well I scored). He doesn’t send flowers or write love notes, brushing off those things as goofy kid stuff. He doesn’t tell you he loves you (except maybe during sex), again because “everyone says that and it doesn’t mean anything.” Who is this guy? He’s the Lazy Lover.
The Lazy Lover is the guy who exerts the least possible effort to be with a woman. He’s the guy who doesn’t believe in the art of courtship: asking her out well in advance, taking her to nice places, sending flowers, writing notes (on paper, not just TMs), calling, spending time really getting to know a woman. The Lazy Lover is the guy who wants all of the emotional and sexual goodies that a woman has to give, but offers little in return except for his charm, good looks, and hot body. Here’s how you can land this dream guy:
- Accept dates at the last minute
- Ask him to come over and hang out or, even better, drive to his house to hang out
- Sleep with him after holding out for no more than two dates, both of which involved lots of heavy making out and very little getting to know each other
- Don’t say “no” when he calls at the last minute; after all, you don’t want to drive him away by having standards
- Drink lots of alcohol on your first couple of dates/encounters; pay no attention to how much he’s drinking
- Don’t challenge him by asking questions about how he’s treated women in the past
- Don’t challenge him, period; be all-loving, all-accepting, right from the beginning
But here’s the best way to land the Lazy Lover: Be sure and embellish in your mind the significance of the chemistry and physical affection. Make his passionate kisses mean that he’s falling in love with you. Make his lovemaking, in your mind, equal to his loving you. Give your all and ask for nothing in return except the crumbs he offers.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Women
