Holidays for Singles: Gift Giving in New Relationships
By Nina Atwood
Are you dating someone new – say, less than six months? Are you wondering what kind of gift to give, and what to expect? Here are some basic guidelines to help you decide appropriate gift giving in new dating relationships.
First, make an assessment: how involved are we at this point? Have you said “I love you”? Are you sleeping together, exclusive? Are you talking about future, meeting each other’s relatives? If you’re at this level of involvement, then your gifts should reflect it.
For him two or three nice but not highly expensive gifts: high end sweater, shirt, ties, bottle of champagne or spirits. Don’t give him an expensive watch. You may wind up spending more than he does and feel off-balance. Never give a guy a ring until he’s given you an engagement ring. It can make him feel uncomfortable if he’s not yet ready to make that level of commitment to you.
For her: jewelry set with semi-precious stones (pearls, garnets, etc.) - earrings, bracelet, necklace (not a ring as she might feel disappointed that it’s not at the level of an engagement ring). Precious stones (diamond, ruby, etc.) signify a high level of commitment and intentionality, so steer away from those until you are in the frame of mind that she’s the one. Never give diamonds to a woman whose heart you are unsure of, unless you want to throw away tens of thousands of dollars.
What if you’re not at the level of I Love Yous? If you’re dating but not yet deeply involved or even exclusive, then your gift giving should reflect it. For her: A nice bottle of champagne with flowers. If she doesn’t drink, shop for a beautifully bound book or journal. For him: A nice bottle of his favorite spirits, wine, or champagne. If he doesn’t drink, the book/journal routine can also work. Music CDs, gourmet gift baskets, chocolates all work. Don’t load up on quantity of gifts at this level of relationship – keep it simple.
The most important thing is to be honest with yourself about where you are in the relationship. Then, talk about it. That’s right – bring it up in a straightforward way so that you can discuss appropriate gift-giving. Agree on a similar budget. Imagine the ease with which you will discuss money matters in the future if you can begin today? Money is one of the top reasons that couples split later, and that is primarily due to discomfort with talking about it.
Entry Filed under: Dating
