Good Love: A Five Star Meal, Not Fast Food
By Nina Atwood
Even though we know that friendship is a powerful foundation for romance, rarely do we take the time to allow it to develop first. Why? First, we’re bombarded by images in the media that teach us love should be like a rocket taking off – WHOOSH! In our never-ending quest for bigger and more exciting experiences, we rush into romance (read “sex”). We want to be like those glamorous couples on the covers of magazines who hook up in about 90 seconds.
Then there’s the desire for instant gratification. Why take the time to get to know someone when you can grab the passion and go for it? Putting off sex isn’t easy. We’re accustomed to having what we want when we want it – now. We rush in grabbing all the goodies at once rather than focusing on the long-term goal of lasting contentment (yawn – how boring!)
Hidden (and not-so-hidden) expectations also drive the rush. He thinks he’s supposed to wine and dine her, and that if he’s a “real man” he’ll bed her as soon as possible. If he doesn’t push for sex, she might think there’s something wrong with him. She thinks that if he’s not trying (to get her in bed), she’s not attractive. She’s afraid that if she tells him she wants to put off sex he’ll go away.
Good romance is like a five-star meal. Instead of gobbling it all down in one bite, you take each mouthful slowly, savoring the incredible flavors as long as possible. The appetizer is the three-date interview process. The main course is getting to know each other slowly, building a friendship through mutual respect and admiration. The dessert is the romance, for which you’ve set the stage and that you can now truly enjoy.
Entry Filed under: Dating,Relationships
1 Comment
1. Stuart | May 13th, 2007 at 6:52 pm
You wrote “friendship is a powerful foundation for romance”. I’d be curious how someone moves from a non-romantic friendship to romance.