Getting Off the Merry-Go-Round
By Nina Atwood
Shanice is still struggling with her commitmentphobic boyfriend. My advice:
Shanice: you stop the merry-go-round by getting off of it yourself. Even though you feel like a puppet on his string, the truth is that you are the master of your own reactions and behavior. You will feel back in control of your life when you start making decisions based on your own best interests instead of waiting to see what he will do, reacting to his behavior.
Getting back together should only be after honest, open communication about your needs. That means sitting down together calmly and rationally to discuss your past – what worked and didn’t work – and your future – what you each want. If he then makes a commitment that you can live with, you have a place to stand together and work on the future. If not, you have your answer and it’s time to accept that and move on with your life.
You are caught up in the drama of the break-ups and that will never work. If you can’t get out of that up and down cycle on your own, GET COUNSELING. Sometimes these non-committal relationships take on an addictive quality so that it is difficult to break the cycle without professional help.
To other readers: If you have ever suffered from a non-committal relationship and you moved on successfully, post your story below.
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