Fear and Risk: Is Dating Worth It?
By Nina Atwood
After two or three bad relationships, your heart may seize up in fear. “Is it worth the risk of getting hurt again?” you wonder. You are having perfectly normal feelings in response to pain. When love goes wrong, you need time for healing. You may lose trust in yourself; the loss of faith in your own ability to make good choices can leave you shaken.
Think of your heart like a broken leg. You would never go skiing with a cast on your leg! You wouldn’t be able to navigate the slopes and if you fell again, you might have a permanent injury. You feel far too fragile physically to take that risk. Nine months later is another story. Now, you’re strong again, ready to fly down the slopes!
Your heart needs time for healing as well. In order to take a risk in a new relationship, you must feel as though no matter how it turns out you’ll be okay. You’re confident that in the face of disappointment or let down, you will pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go on with your life. You feel strong and resilient. Now you’re ready to date!
How do you heal your heart, rediscover your innate resilience? Time and emotional release processes can help. Write a letter to your old love (not for mailing). Vent your emotions in the letter, but don’t take them too seriously. Feelings pass when we acknowledge them and let them go.
Most important, develop self-nurturing behavior. Carve out quiet time for prayer and meditation, asking for awareness of what is in your highest and greatest good (which might not be the same as what you want today). Eat healthy, exercise, and connect with good friends. Trite as it may sound, your best bet for a bright future in a great relationship is taking excellent care of you today.
Entry Filed under: Personal Growth,Relationships
