Don’t Be A “Girly Man”
By Nina Atwood
Brad, a forty-something single guy, set up a fake female profile on a popular dating web site. He deliberately used strong language such as – “If you’re the kind of guy who calls women up and asks ‘so, what do you want to do tonight?’ don’t bother.” He stated “no girly men.” Brad wanted to find out what kind of responses he might get and what he could learn before setting up his own profile.
Brad got 40 to 50 emails per day from his fake profile. But the real surprise, as he shared with me, was that almost none of the guys had any kind of game. “The responses I got were so lame,” he said. Looking at the lack of emotional leadership from guys through the eyes of a woman, he was appalled. “It really showed me how NOT to be,” said Brad.
Brad set up his own profile and used the lessons learned. His results? He had 19 dates in a two week period with some absolutely great women. Two months later, he’s in an exclusive relationship with a wonderful woman who may be his soul mate.
Tip to guys: if you want to blend into the crowd, then have no game plan when you contact a woman. But if you want to stand out from the crowd, put thought into how you approach women. Always call or email with an intended result – a date. Put your request for the date out front, not a lot of lame emails or phone calls with no stated intention. Women really, really, really like a guy who takes the emotional lead in dating, who calls in advance, asks for a real date (not just hanging out), and has an event planned.
Taking the emotional lead is empowering for a guy. By taking some risk, he grows and develops confidence. By offering a strong hand to a woman, he attracts women who are also ready to take emotional risks. By dating in this way, he becomes a man who a good woman will trust.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Men
