Are You Vulnerable To Con Artists?
By Nina Atwood
One young woman in Deerfield, Illinois, discovered that her boyfriend, whom she met online, was in reality a con artist who had bilked numerous women out of a total estimated one million dollars. He earned his victims’ trust, then convinced them to invest in bogus businesses or loan him their credit cards. Are you vulnerable to this kind of predator? You are if a guy exhibits these behaviors and you continue to date him anyway:
- He’s disconnected from his past; his “ex” is dead, and so are his family members; or his relationships with people in his past are severed
- He has some kind of top-secret job, such as being in the CIA, or working in the Special Forces, or some other mysterious and important-sounding job
- When queried about his past, he’s elusive and secretive
- The women in his past are described as “crazy”; they’re to blame for his probems and losses
- He has strong ideas about certain issues, and he’s adamant about them; there’s no room for you to have different beliefs
- He’s persuasive, and you are swayed by the passion with which he expresses his beliefs
- You feel special, chosen by him while others were not
- He’s all over your life very quickly: spending every minute with you, flattering you, sending flowers, courting you, yet he doesn’t seem to have ever had a successful relationship with a woman in the past
- You are not given access to anyone who has known him for a significant period of time and who can validate that he’s a good guy
While all of these things could add up to a great guy who’s had a few missteps, odds are they add up to a con artist. You’ll know for sure when he asks for money or an investment in a business. You are vulnerable to this kind of predator if you check the majority of the following items. Reverse the list in a positive direction and you have a checklist for getting your life in order:
- You are emotionally needy or hungry for a relationship, to the point that you feel significantly anxious or depressed over not having a man in your life
- You doubt your attractiveness, despite reassurances to the contrary by friends and family
- You blame yourself for your past love losses; i.e., men leaving you, divorcing you, or abusing you
- You often feel that life is not worth living without a man to love you
- You tend to believe what people say to you without checking your gut feeling for situations that seem “too good to be true”
- You tend to believe that if you meet someone in a context of like faith, such as at your church, through a christian dating site, or if you’re Jewish, through JDate or at your synagogue, that the person automatically has your same level of honesty and integrity
- The word “no” is almost never expressed by you
- You feel slightly guilty about your prosperity, and are too quick to give money away
- When an attractive man shows you attention, you are afraid to ruin the romance by querying him about his past or doing a background check
This list could go on and on, but hopefully this conveys the gist of what makes you vulnerable to a con artist out to get your money or use you and break your heart. Bottom line: work on your self-esteem and your adamant commitment to your own well being. Your attraction to a man should never, ever supersede taking care of your most precious asset: you!
Entry Filed under: Relationships
