Power of Attraction Part 2: What do you really want?
By Nina Atwood
Go for character first. Good looks can fade over a lifetime: bodies gain weight, hair turns gray, wrinkles appear. That’s the reality, so get real about it. While you’re single and searching, focus on character: your own and that of the people you date. Does that mean you don’t care about attraction? Of course not! But take a leap of faith with me and trust that if you focus on the right target, out of all those folks with character there will be someone you find divinely attractive.
What does character mean? In a nutshell, it’s the ability to do the right things today, sometimes uncomfortable, even temporarily painful things, because in the long run they create far greater life satisfaction. It’s doing what is right at personal sacrifice at times. It’s thinking of the impact of my behavior on others before I act, not just doing what I want at the expense of others.
How do you know if someone has good character? It’s quite simple – just look at their past behavior. Examine their past choices and actions and get real about this – what they’ve done before they will do again! So if he’s left the past three serious relationships, odds are he’ll leave you. If she’s cheated on the last two guys, she’ll probably cheat on you. If he’s failed to maintain a relationship with his children from a previous marriage, odds are he’ll fail to parent the children you have with him. Those are the obvious ones.
More subtle are things like a good work ethic, taking responsibility for one’s life outcomes vs. blaming others, and the ability to hold positive thoughts and beliefs. Bottom line: character is critical for lasting relationships, so make it a priority.
Entry Filed under: Dating,Personal Growth
