Are You a Narcissistic Dater?
By Nina Atwood
Justin can’t seem to date anyone for more than a few months. He’s wowed by Carly’s beauty, and he tells her he’s looking for someone to love and marry. But secretly, he’s bothered by her imperfections. After three months of seeing each other almost every day, he’s begun to catalog her flaws: she bites her nails, she forgets things like her cell phone, she’s not a “star” at work, and she seems insecure when he pays any attention to other women. Worst of all, he doesn’t feel adored by her. She’s nice, but she’s not falling all over him. Already he’s thinking about how to break up.
Shelly’s been dating Mark for nine months. She’s annoyed with him most of the time. Last night, he called to suggest they not go to the concert tonight – her favorite band! His complaint? He’s worked 40 hours so far this week – he’s a trial attorney in the middle of a big case – and he’s catching a cold, doesn’t feel well. What a lame excuse. And that part about bringing him some chicken noodle soup – he’s obviously just throwing her a bone. Well, she’ll just have to go to the concert with someone else – maybe that cute guy in the next cubicle at work. As for Mark – she’s already looking around for his replacement, someone who’s more fun, who can keep up with her tempo of life.
Justin and Shelley have something in common: it doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, at the end of they day, it’s all about them! Narcissistic to the core, Justin and Shelley date to get their needs met – first, last, and always. They lack the ability to truly empathize with others. They fail to see and acknowledge other’s needs. They feel offended when someone else states a need. In short, they are “takers” rather than “givers” in relationships.
What about you? Are you a narcissistic dater? Take the quiz in the next post to find out.
Entry Filed under: Dating,Personal Growth
