Dating Behavior for Guys: How to Treat a Woman
By Nina Atwood
Dating is relating. The way you date and pursue a woman today has everything to do with how successful you will be in marriage. If your goal is to meet and marry a beautiful, loving woman, start today with shaping your behavior to maximize your success. Do these things and you’ll stand out in the dating scene because so few men understand the basics in today’s world. Some vital tips, in addition to basic rules of etiquette, include:
- Take emotional risks. Open your heart, gradually, not all at once. Tell your life story, the CNN version, with a slant toward the positive: what you’ve learned so far, where you’re headed. Share about your past loves, but never put down a woman you’ve been with in the past. No matter how bad an experience you had, you can share about what you learned about yourself.
- Take the risk of pursuit. Don’t expect her to chase you; it’s difficult for women to do it, and you won’t like the results because it makes her feel off-balance and needy – not a good formula for a healthy relationship. If she’s worth having, she’s worth pursuing! Call her, ask her out, arrange things to do, send cards and flowers as the relationship develops. Never stop doing the “little things” that make her feel special.
- Use humor appropriately. Never, ever use humor at her expense. Let me say it another way: NEVER say anything to a woman that teases her or puts her down, even in the lightest way. Instead, use self-deprecating humor – laugh at yourself, never at her or at women in general.
- Use touch appropriately. Until you’ve moved into the emotionally intimate stage of your relationship, refrain from physical intimacy. No woman “owes you” a kiss or a hug or anything else physical. Intimacy in the physical sense is only appropriate between two people who care for one another and are ready to move to that level. So, don’t touch her in any way until the right emotional timing for that first hug, and later for that first kiss.
- Be ruthlessly honest, first with yourself, and then with her. Never, ever let a woman think you feel more for her than you do. Actions speak louder than words, so if your heart’s not in it, stop the behavior – don’t ask her out, don’t spend time with her, don’t hold her hand, kiss her, make her feel special. Tell her you’re moving on without making it about her.
- Don’t kid yourself about what she’s thinking or feeling. Women believe that you love them if you date them, touch them, kiss them, and make love to them. The fact that you haven’t actually told her you love her or made a verbal commitment doesn’t count! She extrapolates from your behavior that you DO love her and you ARE committed. Never date a woman for longer than a handful of dates if you’re not falling in love with her.
Entry Filed under: Advice for Men
1 Comment
1. tita | May 2nd, 2008 at 12:54 am
Subject: Item 2: Pursuing & Distancing
I like your concept and I’m trying to balance it out with what I was told about pursuing like you just described in item 2 will create a tendency of women to distance?
This was based on H Lerner’s Dance of Connection being shared with me by a MFCC.
“What happened as a result is that you just continued to pursue, perhaps believing that perseverance would get you aquicker response. and that you feel that persistence will elicit the responses you want. Persistence does not guarantee that you will accomplish what you set out to. Persistence, in fact, may be what is keeping you from getting what you want. In part, what needs to happen is that you have to leave room for the person on the other end to have the freedom to respond in a way that they need to. ”
How do I strike a balance between pursuing and not let her feel that she should run away because i’m chasing her?