S.M.A.R.T. Dating: Relational
By Nina Atwood
Smart Dating is about focusing on the quality of your relationships, all of them, especially your dating relationships. Instead of focusing on your agenda to win someone over or to make a great impression, focus on connection. But not just any connection: positive, meaningful connection. What does that mean?
Dating is about relating, and the quality of your dating life will rise in direct proportion to your ability to positively relate with others, even those who are not lifetime love candidates. Postive, meaningful connection happens when you take a keen interest in the other person. Instead of focusing on you, focus on the other person. Ask questions, listen with the goal of understanding that person and his/her worldview.
Along the way in these early dating conversations, little gemstones of personal revelation are often dropped on the table. For instance, a guy shares that he’s divorced but he learned a lot from the experience. He pauses. The opportunity is golden to “dive deeper” into the conversation. Instead of hesitating, fearful that you’re being too nosy, take a little emotional risk. Ask the next question: “What kind of things did you learn?”
We’re all hungry to “tell our stories,” because it is through sharing our life stories that we reveal ourselves. If you want to relate to others on a deeper, more meaningful level, be willing to share and listen to life stories. Be ready to ask those “next questions” to take the conversation to a deeper level. Focus on relating and you will build the “emotional muscle” to attract and maintain a great relationship.
Go to this post for the next step in dating S.M.A.R.T.
Entry Filed under: Dating
